Self Sabotage

So I have counselling today, been in therpy for a few years! Why am I writting about it today, being human but in all honestly I have a situation, Iam literally mulling over and over and gone straight down the rabbit hole of its all my fault, I am the one to blame, I am crap at what I do etc. So I am hoping that I can discuss this today with my Counsellor Ann-marie

However I have one rabbit hole that is leading me down the path of questioning my ability as an Agile coach, its a massive hole I am currently travelling and to be honest with you all a hole I have discussed over and over with Ann-marie over the last 18 months

This doubt about my ability comes from many jobs where people have made me feel and even told me I am, and never will be anything, amount to anything or work ever in the Agile space. It's a Space I have fought tooth and nail to get into and improve myself and learn about Agile, and I am constantly learning (sure thats another post)

So why am I telling you in the post, well its better than in my head, but not only that I got to thinking how many other Agile coaches are open and honest about the self sabotage they do, how does their imposter syndrome play out, I would ask my fellow coaches but I am not sure many would be open to the disucssion around their mental health and how it impacts their capability of being a coach! Maybe I am being honest, human, maybe I am putting it down in word as it helps me, but again as I go on to learn about this and why I do it, I want to this year at least write about it and put it out to the world as I said I would in my 1st blog and resolution for the year forward

Anyway look forward to sharing more on this and hope this may trigger some conversation with others

but for now

Always

Shelby xx